To Choose to Love or Not to Love… It is a Choice

We grow up with fairy tales making us think that some day, a prince or princess will come along that we were destined to meet, fall madly in love with, and live with happily ever after. However, that’s not the way love works. Not real, true love. Love is a choice before it is anything else.

Yes, you may meet a nice, handsome guy, fall head over heels in love with him. However, what happens when he doesn’t understand your feelings, doesn’t help around the house, wastes toothpaste, or even totally forgets your birthday? Do you say, “Forget it! This isn’t worth it!” Do you look for another guy that does understand your feelings, that uses the toothpaste exactly like you do, or that remembers every birthday, anniversary, and even the day you met? Chances are, you’ll find something wrong with that guy, too, because that’s what we tend to do.

We can find faults in any relationship if we are looking hard enough. We can dwell on how different a person is from us. We can see their faults plain as day. We can certainly point fingers. It’s easy to do. That part in life is easy. Let’s just blame others for what they don’t do that’s fun, organized, correct, easy, etc. Isn’t that the way this works? If one friendship doesn’t work out, you just trade that person in for a new one?

Unfortunately, we’ve been sold that bill of goods. And it’s running rampant among our society.

What about special needs kids? Let’s say you find out about their needs before they are born. Do you just choose to trade them in even though that child was your choice and your responsibility… and maybe you were supposed to have them and keep them?

What about the child that doesn’t develop needs until later in life, like our kids? What about the child diagnosed with ADHD who needs medicine every morning and help focusing on school work every night? What about the child who can’t walk, dress themselves, eat by themselves, or go to the bathroom by themselves? What about the child with autism that says mean things and throws temper tantrums? Do you just say, “No, this is too hard. Forget love. Forget helping. They are on their own… it’s just too much for me.” No, you stick it out. You realize they were put in your life for a reason. You may be their best supporter on the planet that they would never get anywhere else. You may be the very person that is used to help them reach their potential.

It’s the same thing in marriage, in friendships, in families.

Love is a choice. It’s not a vacation. A holiday. A take-it-only-when-I-feel-the-fuzzy-feelings kind of thing. Love is a choice.

I often hear that phrase “You can’t help who you fall in love with.” However, I know first hand that you can choose love. You can choose to stay strong through your weak feelings. You can choose to work through things instead of throwing relationships out in the trash just because something doesn’t suit you. Could you imagine if all the parents of special needs kids did that? Well, why are children any different than spouses? Why are children any different than that best friend you had in school that you lost over some shirt she borrowed or some girl that he dated after you that neither one of you married?

Isn’t it time we stop judging people and condemning them for things that they do or don’t do? You have no idea what’s in their hearts. And isn’t it time we step out beyond ourselves and realize we aren’t here for us but for others? You can only choose to keep loving, keep supporting, and keep being the best mom, wife, husband, friend, daughter, or son you can be.

Love is a choice.

Share a time when you have had to choose love and you realized that love is more than fuzzy, warm feelings! We’d love to hear!!



Love is the most important choice we can make! However, so few know it. Partner with me to share how important choosing love is… for all spouses, children, friends, etc. Use the sharing buttons below!

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JessBio200 To Choose to Love or Not to Love... It is a ChoiceJessica Stone is a wife, mom to 4, and owner of her own business in the fitness industry. She has 3 special needs children, with one child with an undiagnosed neuro-muscular condition that limits her mobility. She enjoys sharing what she has learned through her trials, experience, and research with other parents who are looking for support, encouragement, and helpful information. Get her FREE eBooklet Five Steps to Losing Those Last 10 Pounds today for simple steps to help you trim up and fit into those fashionable clothes you’ve always wanted to wear! Connect with Jess live today on Facebook!

To Choose to Love or Not to Love… It is a Choice

3 thoughts on “To Choose to Love or Not to Love… It is a Choice

  1. Love is definitley a choice, it not something that just happens. No, we make it happen, because we know that we know we are called to love people and especially our own family; our partner and our children. What if we don’t chose to love, than love will disapper because it doesn’t stay with us on it own. NO, love needs to be appreciated, nourished and chosen to be activated. Love is our own choise; we cannot go around it. Thanks Jessica for sharing your world with us!!

  2. As you say Jessica, love is a choice and it’s not simply a feeling! Any relationship involves hard work and even unconditional love that I have for my children is tested at times. Love means giving support even when the going gets tough!

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