After years of pouring yourself into others, feeling as though you’ve been beaten by life, and finding ways to cope, eventually you find yourself standing at the edge of figuring out who you are.
You know you must find yourself – who you really are and were created to be.
Either you once knew and lost it…
Or perhaps you never knew.
I feel as though I have been standing at the edge of this for the past 3-4 weeks myself. How does one answer this question after so long of not knowing or feeling like it’s been so far stuffed away that it hasn’t peered into the light of day in a decade?
In pondering what I really want my life to look like through reflection of where it was and where I have been, I’ve been forced to come to terms with the reality that I’ve lost myself somewhere along the way.
For each person the reasons are different, yet so many of us feel this at some point in our lives.
I believe in my life, the storms that have weighed so heavily on me have been my daughter’s health and all the unknowns surrounding it. And of course, keeping up with her daily needs.
Add to that her twin brothers and the heaviness it places on a mom’s heart knowing two more of her children need therapies.
Living through a 12-year relationship that was hard, to say the least, lost a bit of me. “Coping” and “survival” took over while I squelched some of what once was the critical parts of me.
Feeling forced to earn an income and busting my tail to get more money into our household at every waking moment… striving.
In my soul searching, personal development, and simply the stillness of listening I’ve come to enjoy and value over the past several months, well really a year, I’ve found a few portions of my soul that have not been released in such a long time.
One of those pieces is creativity. Not just crafty, but true creativity… the kind that flows from your heart.
Another piece is music. I used to play the flute and haven’t for so long. I miss it.
I have also owned a cello for years, planning on learning how to play, yet… nothing.
Well, not anymore!
I’m learning now. How can you not when you hear the brilliance and creativity flowing from other cellists like Steven Nelson (playing “Michael Meets Mozart” here with Jon Schmidt):
I simply love the creativity and genius that flows out of this video! It feeds my soul. Music does that for me in a way that nothing else can – which translates to me that I need to be doing something with it!
I’d also like to learn languages. I have a few in mind, however, I haven’t narrowed it down yet.
I have places I’d like to travel to and maybe even live one day. A super nice aspect about blogging is the portable factor of being able to make a living from anywhere in the world!
I used to blow off bucket lists, thinking they were too focused on the “death” aspect. How sad is that? That’s not what they are for AT ALL. They are for living… really LIVING.
My time is now…
It’s time to love life again.
What about you? Do you have a bucket list? Do you have dreams and desires you have pressed so far down that you think they are impossible to accomplish now, even if it’s simply learning to play an instrument, learning a new language, or taking up a new hobby? It’s not too late! If you are breathing in and out, you can always learn something new. Share in the comments section below something you’ve always wanted to do or thought was interesting that you’d love to learn. I want to hear!!
Jessica Stone is a serial entrepreneur and mom of 4 – 3 with special needs and a set of twins. Her daughter has an undiagnosed neuro-muscular condition that limits her mobility, and her twins are currently receiving therapy for sensory defensiveness, physical mobility, fine motor skills, and speech. She enjoys sharing what she has learned through her trials, experience, research, and tools that have helped her family with other parents who are looking for support, encouragement, and helpful information. Get her FREE gift to you, 30 Easy Snacks Your Kids Will Devour: Eating Healthy Never Got So Simple. Connect with Jess live today on Facebook!