Find Yourself Again

After years of pouring yourself into others, feeling as though you’ve been beaten by life, and finding ways to cope, eventually you find yourself standing at the edge of figuring out who you are.

You know you must find yourself – who you really are and were created to be.

Either you once knew and lost it…

Or perhaps you never knew.

I feel as though I have been standing at the edge of this for the past 3-4 weeks myself. How does one answer this question after so long of not knowing or feeling like it’s been so far stuffed away that it hasn’t peered into the light of day in a decade?

In pondering what I really want my life to look like through reflection of where it was and where I have been, I’ve been forced to come to terms with the reality that I’ve lost myself somewhere along the way.

For each person the reasons are different, yet so many of us feel this at some point in our lives.

I believe in my life, the storms that have weighed so heavily on me have been my daughter’s health and all the unknowns surrounding it. And of course, keeping up with her daily needs.

Add to that her twin brothers and the heaviness it places on a mom’s heart knowing two more of her children need therapies.

Living through a 12-year relationship that was hard, to say the least, lost a bit of me. “Coping” and “survival” took over while I squelched some of what once was the critical parts of me.

Feeling forced to earn an income and busting my tail to get more money into our household at every waking moment… striving.

In my soul searching, personal development, and simply the stillness of listening I’ve come to enjoy and value over the past several months, well really a year, I’ve found a few portions of my soul that have not been released in such a long time.

One of those pieces is creativity. Not just crafty, but true creativity… the kind that flows from your heart.

Another piece is music. I used to play the flute and haven’t for so long. I miss it.

I have also owned a cello for years, planning on learning how to play, yet… nothing.

Well, not anymore!

I’m learning now. How can you not when you hear the brilliance and creativity flowing from other cellists like Steven Nelson (playing “Michael Meets Mozart” here with Jon Schmidt):

I simply love the creativity and genius that flows out of this video! It feeds my soul. Music does that for me in a way that nothing else can – which translates to me that I need to be doing something with it!

I’d also like to learn languages. I have a few in mind, however, I haven’t narrowed it down yet.

I have places I’d like to travel to and maybe even live one day. A super nice aspect about blogging is the portable factor of being able to make a living from anywhere in the world!

I used to blow off bucket lists, thinking they were too focused on the “death” aspect. How sad is that? That’s not what they are for AT ALL. They are for living… really LIVING.

My time is now…

It’s time to love life again.

What about you? Do you have a bucket list? Do you have dreams and desires you have pressed so far down that you think they are impossible to accomplish now, even if it’s simply learning to play an instrument, learning a new language, or taking up a new hobby? It’s not too late! If you are breathing in and out, you can always learn something new. Share in the comments section below something you’ve always wanted to do or thought was interesting that you’d love to learn. I want to hear!!

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JessBio200 Find Yourself AgainJessica Stone is a serial entrepreneur and mom of 4 – 3 with special needs and a set of twins. Her daughter has an undiagnosed neuro-muscular condition that limits her mobility, and her twins are currently receiving therapy for sensory defensiveness, physical mobility, fine motor skills, and speech. She enjoys sharing what she has learned through her trials, experience, research, and tools that have helped her family with other parents who are looking for support, encouragement, and helpful information. Get her FREE gift to you, 30 Easy Snacks Your Kids Will Devour: Eating Healthy Never Got So Simple. Connect with Jess live today on Facebook!

Find Yourself Again

14 thoughts on “Find Yourself Again

  1. Jessica, You are right ON with gaining clarity & drive for your purpose & vision. I LOVE seeing it! Can’t wait to hear more about your music- WAHOOO! & I think the Piano Guys are fantastic :) KEEP IT COMIN JESS!

  2. Oh, Jessica – striving! Yes. There is a song by Tenth Avenue North called By Your Side. The first line :: “Why are you striving these days? Why are trying to earn grace? Why are you crying? Lift up your face . . . just don’t turn away.” Gets me every time.

    And I get the trying so hard to earn an income. One of my Great Big Goals is to be making enough to support our entire family by the time my husband’s Army contract is up. He is such a gentle, creative guy and he has sacrificed so much enlisting and providing for our family. I want him to be able to rest and play and make music again.

    But I am also learning that I need to take time to play, too! Radical self care and focusing on stuff that I love – that has nothing to do with my business dreams! – that’s where my heart is right now. And it feels really good.

    1. Yes, Brandy, I know that very song well! It’s a good one. You are right, we all need to keep the right perspective of self care and focusing on things we love. Whether it touches on your business or job or not, we must keep those things in our lives to feed and nurture our souls. Thanks for your comment!

  3. Somehow I sense that we are all connected through God’s Love in our hearts. Music is a most important part in our daily walk with HIM. And I just love Music, doesn’t matter what style it is as long as it is good Music because it flows from God’s heart to ours. And I believe the same goes for our creativity. I am still yearning to do certain things and my hunger to learn something new every day is not diminishing. You’re in a good place, maybe you should just pick up the flute and go for it. Everything else will follow.

  4. It is so easy to lose yourself in family and work commitments that you forget to nurture yourself. This is such a great reminder that it’s never to late to go back to those things that you used to enjoy before all the other commitments kicked in. God has made us unique individuals and it is important to keep in touch with what makes you, you.
    I totally get where you are coming from Jessica! God Bless!

    1. Thanks, Carolyn! So true, so true. We can somehow lose ourselves when we let the troubles of this world hold us back or stop us from continuing in the things God has put in us to keep us grounded, happy, and creative. Thanks for your comment!

  5. Jessica, Jessica, Jessica – were you a fly on the wall of my mind because this is exactly where I’m at in my life – wondering, pondering, wading through it all. I like the bucket list idea, and really want to work through executing one. Here’s to living life more boldy, more fearlessly, and without hesitation! Grace, mercy, and peace to you as you continue in your endeavors ;)

    1. and I must totally agree with you that this music is moving – love that about music. it’s so impactful ;). there’s something cinematically moving about instrumental/classical music that moves the soul – lifts us higher.

      1. It does! Classical pieces take me to a place like no other – instant peace and calming… almost getting lost somewhere between the melodies and harmonies. LOVE it!

    2. Thank you, Marvia – I receive it! And blessings to you, too, as you work this out in your own life – finding the “real” you and all that it entails, doing something you are passionate about, and giving life your all. May you be blessed richly as you keep moving forward!

  6. You’re in such a tender, vulnerable – yet really good place, Jessica! I can relate. I’m glad you’re getting your awakening at a much younger age than I.

    I picked up flute again, recently! You’re right – it’s true creativity that is bringing us back to life… back to our true identity. (I love languages, too, and I’m pick them pretty well!) Passion. Passion for life!

    Traveling, working from my computer, being able to visit my children and grandchildren, siblings and mom… it seems it may take more than a lifetime to realize everything on my list. But yesterday I was contemplating this and I discovered that we’re meant to have all these passions and the thrill of exploration! Learning and adventure!

    We are eternal creatures! We really aren’t limited by time and space and finances. I’m just discovering this – that I have a Kingdom identity, mission, and purpose. The Kingdom of God carries eternal citizenship papers. So who I am and what I want to do is no longer limited by anything in this world, including Time and Space.

    In the meantime, back to earth, Sue… one day at a time. Living from my authentic self. It’s enough.

    It’s fascinating to hear someone else like you, Jessica, talk about the thrill of life and to have so many passions… even after living through the trials you’ve endured and still are in the midst of. You’ve crossed a line, though, I can sense… and across that line is freedom and your real life. Even surrounded by your kids with needs I can’t truly understand, you’re discovering new ways of living abundantly.

    I ask God to fill you with wisdom and give you more grace and favor. May all of His Goodness rain down on you, gently and lavishly. May His arms embrace you, Sweet One! SHINE :)

    1. You made me tear up, Sue! I can so relate to where you are right now, too, in your journey. Fortunately, God has been working on me for awhile, so I’ve already dumped a lot of baggage that could have tried to stick around. That makes getting to this place of finding the real me and discovering what I’m meant to be doing that much faster. I’m SO thankful I’m learning this now and God is revealing more and more to me.

      I’m glad you are able to travel and see family as much as you are. And who knew we had the flute in common!!! Too cool!

      And you’re right, we are eternal creatures. That’s one thing God has been showing me… there are no limits. None. He controls all and owns all and can show us where our lost keys are all the way to bringing the right people in our lives at the right time. I have no doubt He is on His throne and still reigns!

      Thank you for your prayer for wisdom, grace, and favor – even His Goodness. Thanks for being you and your encouragement. I appreciate you!

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