“Don’t do that!” “Stop hitting your brother!” “Go clean your room!” “Didn’t I tell you it’s time to go? Now, let’s GO!” “Focus.” “It doesn’t need to be perfect. Just leave it.” “Stop climbing the furniture!” “No, you can’t jump from up there!!”
Have any of these phrases come out of your mouth?
Did you know that you are most likely saying them because of your child’s personality and not because they are being defiant, lazy, competitive, or even rebellious?
Kids have personalities built into them from birth just like adults do. Some are more obvious in others, just like adults. You have the very focused, driven, bossy kids. You have the fun, energetic, want-to-get-into-everything-and-go-everywhere kind of kids. You have the laid-back, easy-going, peaceful kids. And even the OCD, perfectionist, tidy and orderly kids.
Personalities may also drive their interests. Some kids like bugs. Some like sports. Some like books. Some like the dramatic arts, like acting and dance.
You may have done research already on personality types. A lot of companies have potential employees take one or more tests to determine their personality prior to hiring them to see if they will be a good fit for the company and the job. You may have heard of them as animals, like oxen or lions, or perhaps colors. Or even some weird words like Sanguine and Phlegmatic, or even GEMS, like multi-millionaire, Dani Johnson, teaches.
Each of these personalities is based on a dominant neurotransmitter in their brains that they have from birth, which Dr. Eric Braverman talks about in his book, The Edge Effect. Those four neurotransmitters are GABA, acetylcholine, dopamine, and serotonin.
Why is this important, you ask? Because knowing your child’s personality-type will open up a whole new world to why they act the way they do, seek the things they do, how to motivate them to do what’s necessary in the household, and how to respect them and their role to play in your family.
Here are short explanations of what each personality may look like in a child:
An acetylcholine-driven child will be the one wanting to go out and do things. They will be fairly popular in school. Unfortunately, these are also the kids that tend to be labeled ADD or ADHD because of their difficulty staying focused on tasks and their learning style. They tend to be the risk-takers ~ the ones who want to leap from the top bunk onto the floor, rolling when landing, and get up pretend sword-fighting with their siblings. They love playing team sports. They are hardly ever on time.
A GABA-driven child will be the one who is fairly quiet, thinks Science and Math are cool, and get great grades most of the time. They are perfectionists when it comes to just about everything. They are orderly. They may or may not have a clean room, however, if you ask them, they will wish their room was clean and probably, even in the mess, know exactly where everything is. They are very particular about things, especially when someone else moves something of theirs out of place. They prefer things neat and tidy. And they may need to be taught how to get along with others. They are almost always on time.
A dopamine-driven child is extremely driven to excel, both at school and in sports. They prefer one-on-one sports, such as fencing or wrestling rather than baseball or football. They love name-brand things and feel like they always need the greatest and the best of whatever item they are looking to buy. They are helpful and are always seeking out the next thing to accomplish.
A serotonin-driven child is one of the easiest to raise. They are extremely easy-going, relaxed, and definitely a people-pleaser. They don’t like confrontation. They are the peace-keepers. They also love animals and are very helpful, even sometimes without being asked. They are very compliant and don’t need a lot of reasoning behind things.
Are you starting to understand your child better?
In a family of 6, I have, I believe, 3 acetylcholine dominant natures, 2 GABA natures, and 1 serotonin nature. However, I personally have some dopamine tendancies in me, so I’m very familiar with the way that one works, as well. And just because each person has a dominant nature, it’s not good to be deficient in any of the neurotransmitters. However, a dominant one will almost always show itself through your child’s personality.
Of course, there are several combinations of these personalities in people. Children can be groomed to be more of a people-person or not be easily offended and hold a grudge, for instance, if that’s not in their nature. However, raising kids works best if you let them be them and work WITH their personality-type. For example, an acetylcholine-driven child is motivated by fun! Next time he needs to clean his room, try telling him he has more time to play soccer with his friends if he will cut his cleaning time in half than normal. See what happens! A serotonin-driven child is motivated by a cause. Tell them you need their help with some kittens found in your backyard, but only after they clean their room.
Above all, don’t try to change your children into you. They are who they are. It’s built into them. You can try to fight them on things all you want, but you aren’t able to change the chemical connections and dominating neurotransmitters in their brains, no matter how much you bribe, yell, nag, or repeat yourself. Some of these tendancies are built into them. You just need to learn to embrace who they are and figure out the best way to work with that, encouraging them in their strengths and training them in their weaknesses.
They love you for who you are, just as you are. Never forget that!
I hope you realize how precious your child is, just like they are… and that the best way to support and encourage them is through building on their strengths and grooming into them their weaknesses. I know other parents need to get this information, too. Please partner with me to get this to your family & friends. Simply use the sharing buttons below!
Jessica Stone is a wife, mom to 4, and owner of her own businesses in the fitness and essential oils industries. She has 3 special needs children, one which has an undiagnosed neuro-muscular condition that limits her mobility, and her twins are currently receiving therapy for sensory defensiveness, physical mobility, fine motor skills, and speech. She enjoys sharing what she has learned through her trials, experience, research, and tools that have helped her children’s health with other parents who are looking for support, encouragement, and helpful information. Get her FREE eBooklet Five Steps to Losing Those Last 10 Pounds today for simple steps to help you trim up and fit into those fashionable clothes you’ve always wanted to wear! Connect with Jess live today on Facebook!