As parents, we don’t like to see our child suffer. We don’t like those times they fall and scrap their knee. Or the times we hear of another kid picking on ours. And unfortunately, with special needs in the mix, some kids just don’t understand and can just be flat-out mean.
We want to see them accepted.
We want to see them succeed.
We want to see them healed.
We can get so lost in the daily aspects of caring for our little ones that it almost fuels our anger, resentment, bitterness. Why her? Why him? Why us? Why is this happening to our family? What did we do that caused my child to have ADHD, a learning disability, asthma, Celiac, autism, cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, ALS, MS, or even the unknown?
Why is this happening? My child has done nothing wrong.
We all think it. We all imagine life as “normal” and what it would be like not to have to worry about medications, equipment, therapies, etc. We picture our little boy or girl running and playing with the other kids in the neighborhood, laughing, spinning, and skipping. Stopping for an ice cream treat and off to play again.
However, in most of our worlds, that just isn’t reality. Reality is 5 hours of homework. Reality is getting a lift not covered by insurance for a van (or even a new van) for a power chair. Reality is going to the doctors office, expecting to get some answers, just to walk away with nothing… again.
Frustration. Guilt. Pain. Grief.
These are all emotions that can take over in a heartbeat if we let them.
After almost 8 years of dealing with symptoms, unknown causes, and therapies, I realize that frustration, guilt, pain, and grief don’t get you anywhere. They don’t help my children get better. They don’t help me feel any better. They drag me down.
I don’t understand why my 10 year old has been fighting an unknown neuro-muscular condition. Or why my boys have had trouble with speech and walking.
However, I do understand God’s love for us… just as we all are. And I also know He doesn’t give us more than we can bear.
We can certainly try to judge God and ask Him in angry words, “Why did this have to happen? Why my kid?” Or instead, we can ask Him to help us through it, realizing that maybe, just maybe, God CHOSE you to give that beautiful child to because He needed someone to be an advocate for them. He knew they’d need a caring, loving home. He knew they’d need someone to battle for them, push others to do the same, and see things change.
It’s our job to trust Him that no matter what, this will have a good outcome, that He can use each of us to reach and touch others, and that at the end of the day, every day, there are things to be thankful for.
I recently watched a video about Nick Vujicic, the man born without arms or legs. What an inspiration! Does he believe God can heal him and grow arms and legs on him right this instant? Yes! Does he believe God will use him now as he is? Yes! And in either case, he will still press on, believing, trusting, sharing.
It’s not for us to question the greater plan. It’s for us to believe in restoration, purpose, and joy in ALL things!
What can you share from your trials as a special needs parent that would help encourage others? Leave a comment below or share your story in our Special Needs Support Community!
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Jessica Stone is a wife, mom to 4, and owner of her own business in the fitness industry. She has 3 special needs children, with one child with an undiagnosed neuro-muscular condition that limits her mobility. She enjoys sharing what she has learned through her trials, experience, and research with other parents who are looking for support, encouragement, and helpful information. Get her FREE eBooklet Five Steps to Losing Those Last 10 Pounds today for simple steps to help you trim up and fit into those fashionable clothes you’ve always wanted to wear! Connect with Jess live today on Facebook!